A rambling mind... falls on heaven

I had a loonnng strange train of thought that started with me thinking about washing my car (while washing my car) and ended at me contemplating heaven. The human mind is a fascination, to say the least....

So at the end of my train of thought, I came to the conclusion that: Heaven can't exist. At least not for me.

Heaven, as it is generally defined, excludes people who go to hell, and it seems to me that the points of exclusion from heaven are endless and culturally dependent, so I feel that a lot of misjudged people would miss their moorings in heaven if the modern criteria were to apply (like: everyone).

So what if you somehow get the golden ticket despite all of the judgement? Well then, congratulations, your new address is heaven. But what is the POINT of heaven, really? Without "evil" (in whatever form it takes), where does good stand, exactly? You would have to be in a pretty bizarre and altered state to accept always being happy, always being pleased, always being at peace, always having what you wanted. In fact, I'd argue that you couldn't possibly be the same person that you were on earth, in order to be able to STAND the continuity and undying existence of too much good. So, the number one reason why heaven, to me, is a fallacy, is that all of that good would make me want to barf. But that's all lolly pops and rainbows, so I'll go on....

If heaven were a little bit more realistic (more like life on earth just minus the child molesters, rapists, nazis, and crazy pro-life doctor killers), then we'd still have to have a mixed bag of folks. And if that mixed bag of folks lived together, and it wasn't all lolly pops and rainbows, then it's likely that there would have to be some form of organization to meet the needs of all parties? And for there to be an organization, there would need to be a power structure, right? So, Heaven needs a governor. There would need to be rules. And who makes the rules? In case you haven't figured it out yet, it's god, of course. So now we have a damn aristocrat on our hands, and the americans would just faint, probably try to have a revolution. And what if god is a man? Or a woman for that matter? Or of a certain race or color? Or speaks a certain language? If god is able to retain said position for all of eternity, representing only bits and pieces of the celestial population, then in my view we have a heavenly civil rights issue at hand.

Ok, now I'm being a bit hyperbolic (can you even BE hyperbolic when you're talking about heaven?), but my point is, if you try to imagine living in heaven as you are on earth (but in the happier version) then that image is a fallacy, as well. Living in heaven would be a sacrifice. You would have to sacrifice the wholeness of the human experience, because it can't all exist in heaven, it's just not possible. So much of you would have to be relinquished, that you wouldn't be yourself anymore. And what is the point of that? At that point, wouldn't you essentially be dead anyway?

I think that my final, and more serious point about heaven is that our quest for it can often cause us to tragically lose sight of ourselves in this life. I think that at the end of the day, living with heaven as the end goal means being hard on yourself during the journey. And if you're in my shoes, you would believe that life is all that you have. I am not scared to admit that I came from nothing. So why should I be scared to admit that I will go to nothing?

And why why why why why does the world allow itself religion anyway? Since no one really knows what life is really like after death, then why do we let them say that they do? Why are we listening? People who weave great fictions about the potential of the afterlife are artists, yes, and they evoke lessons useful to life, yes. But trying to create rules that make us eligible for these made up worlds? And then beating ourselves up for not passing muster?

Just go enjoy your life. Make mistakes. Have (safe!) sex. Dye your hair!!!!! Let people who love each other share in the joy of marriage!!! Or let them live together and love each other even if they don' t want to be married!! Yell at your child- sometimes those little shits need it!! Love your child- sometimes they can't help it! Be realistic about church donations- that cash is not getting you into heaven, although it probably is helping someone in need (that, or it's paying the priest's retirement...). Vote with your brain and not with your bible. Read Dan Savage's columns and don't blush! Tell a godforsaken lie- not a big horrible one because you won't have to wait for judgement day for that shit to hit the fan, but at least a little white one. Don't be afraid to BE WHO YOU ARE even if some old disintegrated bible written by some old shriveled dead dusty person, said it was so. Remember, they were a story teller. GO WRITE YOUR OWN STORY.

Because one day, you might just be gone, and if you never write it, your story will be gone, too.

Now...back to cleaning the car.