Things you can Control vs....

I'm ready to be done with this weird phase. I feel like I have completely lost sight of my inner life. Not to be too dramatic but I honestly can't seem to hone in on an identity. There was a lot of emphasis, in the MCC, on having a sense of PLACE- a way to identify how you fit into your world and community. Having an "experience" and being consciously engaged.

I feel very unconscious in my life right now. I have no place. People seem to come and go, my things are scattered all across the continent, my bachelors degree is collecting dust while I attend community college for the sake of free health insurance. I know what I want to do in my life only by knowing what I do not want to do. I feel strange. Like..is this what I have amounted to? What can I control here? I feel like it is all very much out of my hands ...that is how disconnected I feel from my own experience.

And it is as if the whole world is useless, and has no advice, like usual. And I'm supposed to follow the intuition that I do not have. Take the risks that I have no strategy for. Brandish entrepreneurial ideas that do not exist inside of my mind.