I've been thinking a lot about office jobs lately (being as I just so dutifully acquired one). There is something very wrong with office jobs. It seems unfair that no one acts on the knowledge of how unhealthy they are in this age of almost unhealthy obsessions with health. It is not to say that my job is (yet so far) unfairly taxing. All I've done to date has been an orientation program, reading a lot of manuals about my foundation, attending a foundation board meeting, and getting to know my coworkers. It's that I'm in a windowless office with artificial light, dry and over productive heat, a few people to chat with, and a computer screen staring, for hours at a time, back at my strained eyes.
I might be spoiled. I acknowledge that a job working trails is not by any means conventional (especially not in the winter) but it is so much more rhythmic, so much more relaxing (although physically demanding), and allows you to appreciate being among life. The white walls of an old office building pale to the vitality of a thriving forest and the peak of a mountain top.
Uck.
I panicked. Is THIS what I want from life? Am I seriously (after 1 official day of work) already asking myself that question? Crap.
The past few weeks have pressed on. I made a good name for myself at orientation, taking on the role of THE VISTA during our orientation session's simulation project. I answered questions, took notes.... But I didn't feel particularly passionate in this process. No one inspired me necessarily.
And my actual job isn't particularly inspiring me either.
I am languishing in self doubt which is an unfortunate trait of mine (and maybe a few other people's, as well). But I'll feel better in the coming weeks.
In better news, I found the last pair of small yactrax remaining in this town, and Jack and I are going hiking tomorrow!
Love,
Zoe
1 comment:
i question the work that i do every day. especially having graduated with a double-degree from a well-respected liberal arts institution, it's weird to spend my days watching teenagers play guitar hero. the winter makes this work even more oppressive. i wish i could be outdoors!! i don't have an answer for you, but my hunch is that once you go wilderness, you can never go back. i'm at the point where i'd really just rather ditch the whole of civilization and kick it "walden" style in the sierras. but we're in this world to change the world, and we can't do it if we don't engage. conundrum? probably. but i think you're on the right track. do what you have to do in your cubicle, because it IS important work, and then feed your soul on hikes with your guy. the contrast will make that time spent outdoors that much more meaningful...
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